"I Love You"

Big.  Heavy words.  Weighted.  Always hard to say the first time, especially when you put SO MUCH of yourself into THOSE WORDS.  I love you.  It's simple and so difficult.  It's freeing and all-consuming.  Love is beautiful.  Yet, SO MANY OF US (myself included) are so uncomfortable with these three, beautiful, amazing words.

Our parents never told us, "I love you."  Not my parents.  Not my husband's parents.  I don't remember if we made a conscious choice to be different (very possible); but, it definitely happened organically that we have no trouble telling each other and our children, "I love you", many times per day.  It's a wonderful feeling to know that we are loved and that WE LOVE EACH OTHER.  I know that people outside of our home and outside of our nuclear family love us, too.  That is where cultural "norms" make it harder (I think) to accept the, "I love you" received from friends and extended family (or from the daughter/granddaughter/niece/aunt) that may or may not hear it in return.  It is also harder to voice our emotion, not knowing what is expected (just like in any relationship).  Anyone else hate "norms"? 

We know that we SHOULD love everyone, even our enemies, right?  So, why is it so hard to EXPRESS our emotion?  Is it seen as a sign of weakness?  LOVE IS POWERFUL.  Why would showing LOVE be seen as weak?  I get it.  I know.  It makes us vulnerable.  We are not sure if we will be loved in return. 

Well, I am here to tell you that, VULNERABLE is the BEST place I have EVER been.  Really.  It wasn't until I opened myself up to LOVING someone else (my husband, then again with each child), that I could TRULY experience WHAT LOVE IS.  I am still on my journey, and I am still enjoying what LOVING OTHERS does for me!  Sorry if this sounds selfish.

Each day/month/year, with the people I truly feel love toward, I take a "leap" and tell them that I love them.  I did not realize I was doing this until looking back.  But, the more I do it, the better it feels.  It usually starts in writing (that's easier...and, a little cowardly, I know); and, then, I drum up the courage to say it on the phone.  Eventually, I can more easily say it in person.  I still don't know why it is so hard.  But, I keep going.

Maybe, someday, I will be telling everyone, "I love you."  Starting now.  Consider yourself loved.  By me.  Just for reading this.  Thank you.  I love you.