But, I did have that blessing way. It was on a Saturday, right after I had spent the week organizing the baby's room and cleaning the house. And, while dining on scrumptious healthy food and sharing laughter and love and strength and inspiration, I was having contractions. I left my friends and sister with a full stomach and a full spirit. After I got home to my husband and my boys, I had a few "accidents" where I felt I could not hold my pee (in the moment, I was thinking I just had extra pressure). After my boys had gone to bed, I told my husband about it...and, he asked me, "could it be your water breaking?" Hmmm. Yes, yes it could. But, my contractions were the same as always-not very intense at all. So, I called my midwife.
She said to rest and see if the contractions progress and call her back. So, I watched the rest of my movie on Hulu and went to bed soon after my husband. As I was lying there, after about 30 minutes of contractions getting more intense and closer together, I woke up my husband. Er, I tried to wake up my husband. And, I started walking around the house lighting candles because I did not want any bright lights on. I also had a snack in case it was going to be a long night. I went and woke up my husband again and said we HAVE to get ready. He got up that time.
When I knew it was time, I was in the bathroom and I felt a little afraid-even with the advice and inspiration and sharing of strength with my sister and friends (whom I had texted to light their candles and send me their strength). So, I prayed. And, in that moment a worship song came to me. It was the words, "I am stronger, I am stronger, Christ is with me"...over and over again.
My dear friends and sister had put together some beads symbolizing strength and God and other things to help me focus. But, those beads were being made into a bracelet for me; so, my friend dropped them off for me!
My midwife arrived at about midnight, but her assistant was still on her way. My husband had to keep leaving me (ahhhh!) to get the things we were supposed to have had ready (whoops!). And, my sister was on her way so that she could stay with my boys. But, the highway was under construction and she did not make it that night. Thankfully, her daughter stayed asleep. Thankfully, our boys stayed asleep, too!
I had my beads and my candle and the Holy Spirit and I feel certain that I "used" every contraction (which at the time, I was trying to think of as, "rushes" a la Ms. Ina Mae Gaskin, whose books I had just finished reading). Then my water REALLY broke...twice...and gushed everywhere. Then, I had a really rough contraction when my husband was starting the water in the tub downstairs. Then, right before he got back I had the urge to push (so, I never made it into the tub). My husband was going to leave to check that the door was open for the birth assistant; but, I wouldn't let him leave me. Thankfully, it was open. And, suddenly she was there. And, I was pushing.
And, 2 hours after my contractions started, I was holding my newborn in my arms. And, then he started to wail-God had put the breath of life into him. A beautiful wail.
But, I did not want any lights on and I did not know if it was a boy or a girl for a bit. But, my husband called my sister and told her (and, she did not believe him that we did not know if it was a boy or a girl); and, since she was still stuck in traffic (in the middle of the night!), she turned around to go back home. And, then we woke up the other two boys to meet their (now we know) brother! They looked at him in their sleepy state and went right back to bed and back to sleep (LOL).
He is in my arms right now as I type this...and, suddenly, he is three months old and so big! I love my babies. I love my boys. I love their births. I love these gifts. Thank you for beautiful beginnings, Lord. Thank you.
