I sometimes disagree with my pastor's teachings (gasp!) and I do not agree with many of the fundamental bible teachings I learned as a child (double gasp!). But, I don't feel like the people teaching me are wrong. I just don't agree with them. I respect and honor their interpretations of His word. I also find them intriguing and seek to understand why that is what they believe.
I have intelligent, deeply spiritual friends who do not believe in God. That is what they believe; so, I don't think they are wrong. This doesn't even make sense to me as I write it. But, this is how I feel. I don't believe anyone who listens to their heart to find their way through this world can be wrong.
Having said that, I don't believe in violence; so, when someone believes there is a God who wants them to hurt or kill someone, I think they are wrong. This is the only exception I have.
I believe God resides within every one of us. I believe he is all around us--omniscient, omnipresent. I believe he is always waiting for us to listen to Him. I believe he reveals Himself in loving acts, and of course, in miracles. I believe He loves us unconditionally. I believe He created the earth for us to live for all eternity (I don't believe that I will live forever; but, people and animals and nature will, through constant change and renewal). I believe He made everything and everyone to live and to die, for that is the only way we can live on earth for all eternity...to die...to renew. Dirt to dirt. Dust to dust.
I don't believe anyone has been "chosen". I believe God created every one of us as equals. Every person is important and loved by Him, no matter what...no matter what we believe (even the ones who believe He would want them to hurt someone). Go ahead, disagree. Listen to YOUR heart.
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Friday, October 28, 2011
Fair to Middlin
My father used to frequently answer, "fair to middlin" whenever he was asked how he was doing. I don't remember him ever saying anything else. Or, maybe it was just because people were momentarily silenced contemplating the meaning of his answer...and, I noticed and remembered that. Not sure.
What I do know is even though "fair to middlin" generally means "mediocre" or "so-so" (I think he said that, too!), I miss it. I miss the dad I remember. Now, all I get is a "good" or "pretty good". That's good, I guess. But, from my German and Irish dad who always used to say "goodnight" or "goodbye" in many languages, I miss it. (tears are shedding)
My dad has lived with us for nearly four months now and I have only gotten two variations, one "arrivederci (goodbye)" and one "buenas noches (goodnight)".
For those of you who do not know, my dad had a stroke in November 2008 (at that time, I was pregnant with my youngest). He has gained back almost 100% of his physical abilities; but, he has stroke-induced dementia symptoms. So, the dad I know is not often fully present and his short term memory is very poor. But, being here with us, he seems to be doing better and we are able to care for him better (than when he was living in assisted living). For that, I am grateful. I'll have to try to get him to ask me how I'm doing so that I can answer, "fair to middlin".
What I do know is even though "fair to middlin" generally means "mediocre" or "so-so" (I think he said that, too!), I miss it. I miss the dad I remember. Now, all I get is a "good" or "pretty good". That's good, I guess. But, from my German and Irish dad who always used to say "goodnight" or "goodbye" in many languages, I miss it. (tears are shedding)
My dad has lived with us for nearly four months now and I have only gotten two variations, one "arrivederci (goodbye)" and one "buenas noches (goodnight)".
For those of you who do not know, my dad had a stroke in November 2008 (at that time, I was pregnant with my youngest). He has gained back almost 100% of his physical abilities; but, he has stroke-induced dementia symptoms. So, the dad I know is not often fully present and his short term memory is very poor. But, being here with us, he seems to be doing better and we are able to care for him better (than when he was living in assisted living). For that, I am grateful. I'll have to try to get him to ask me how I'm doing so that I can answer, "fair to middlin".
Monday, October 17, 2011
Our Wedding Vows
It is almost a month since our eighth wedding anniversary. In the wake of a friend's inspiring wedding and in contemplation of our present and where our life (and our family) is now, I took out our wedding vows. I love the words we wrote and promised to each other on our wedding day and I am happy to share them (they still pass muster!).
Today, as we become one, I vow to walk with you
through the journey of life and support you
through all of our sorrows, all of our joys,
all of our failures and all of our triumphs.
My heart will be your shelter
in times of pain or sadness.
My arms will hold you tight and
never let you fall.
I vow to provide you with the warmth that I feel
when you smile--the warmth that shines from
your heart and through your eyes.
I vow to always strive to rediscover you as our
love changes and as we change as individuals.
In doing so, I vow to always seek to understand
you through words of truth and love.
On this day, I give you all of me,
I open my heart and my mind to you.
I vow to help you to be your best and
to give my best to you.
I vow to be faithful to you all the days of my life.
You are the love of my life and my best friend.
Today, it is my solemn vow to fulfill our destiny
and love and care for you for all eternity.
The theme for our wedding was, "love grows." So true. So true. Just writing these vows down brought me through emotions that can best be dispensed as "happy tears." I love you, my sweet husband. It all started with you. The "real" me started with you (more about that another time).
Today, as we become one, I vow to walk with you
through the journey of life and support you
through all of our sorrows, all of our joys,
all of our failures and all of our triumphs.
My heart will be your shelter
in times of pain or sadness.
My arms will hold you tight and
never let you fall.
I vow to provide you with the warmth that I feel
when you smile--the warmth that shines from
your heart and through your eyes.
I vow to always strive to rediscover you as our
love changes and as we change as individuals.
In doing so, I vow to always seek to understand
you through words of truth and love.
On this day, I give you all of me,
I open my heart and my mind to you.
I vow to help you to be your best and
to give my best to you.
I vow to be faithful to you all the days of my life.
You are the love of my life and my best friend.
Today, it is my solemn vow to fulfill our destiny
and love and care for you for all eternity.
The theme for our wedding was, "love grows." So true. So true. Just writing these vows down brought me through emotions that can best be dispensed as "happy tears." I love you, my sweet husband. It all started with you. The "real" me started with you (more about that another time).
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Conscious Choices
Say that ten times, fast.
I have been (slowly) realizing that I cannot get everything done (that I would like to do) in a day. So, each time I have a moment to do something, I have to stop and ask myself, "what do I most want to do right now?" and, "what will make me the happiest?" I have been making an effort to do this (not always, but I try) the past couple of months and it really helps me to be more accepting of the things I can not get to.
I used to think I was pretty good at prioritizing tasks...but, not with two young boys, my father, my husband and my home to tend. Our health and happiness are the two most important things to me; so, most of the time my choices are to that end.
I have surprised myself sometimes, too. If I have some "quiet" time because my youngest is asleep and my oldest is occupied, I have chosen washing dishes over reading (one of my favorite things!) because having a clean kitchen would make me happier (in that moment).
I am grateful for each time I have a moment to choose what will make me happiest...it really works.
I have been (slowly) realizing that I cannot get everything done (that I would like to do) in a day. So, each time I have a moment to do something, I have to stop and ask myself, "what do I most want to do right now?" and, "what will make me the happiest?" I have been making an effort to do this (not always, but I try) the past couple of months and it really helps me to be more accepting of the things I can not get to.
I used to think I was pretty good at prioritizing tasks...but, not with two young boys, my father, my husband and my home to tend. Our health and happiness are the two most important things to me; so, most of the time my choices are to that end.
I have surprised myself sometimes, too. If I have some "quiet" time because my youngest is asleep and my oldest is occupied, I have chosen washing dishes over reading (one of my favorite things!) because having a clean kitchen would make me happier (in that moment).
I am grateful for each time I have a moment to choose what will make me happiest...it really works.
Monday, October 3, 2011
Sweet Vacation Sweet
Now, we are Home Sweet Home. I missed my home. It seemed foreign when we came in the door after being away from our responsibilities for a week in Door County. I loved spending time with my husband and my sons without a clock to check or a schedule to worry about. We just loved being together.
We are grateful to our nephew for caring for my father in our stead. We are grateful to my sister and her fiancee for staying with our boys in Milwaukee while we attended a friend's wedding there at the end of our week. We are grateful for so many things.
Before we left, I gave my 5-year-old an assignment, "write 10 things you would like to do on vacation". I am still impressed with what he wrote. I am happy to report that we accomplished all six that we wrote (technically).
1. swim with daddy and mommy (my sister and her fiancee took him swimming)
2. play a lot outside with my family
3. i want to have adventures (yes, he spelled it right...now, ask me about our bicycle ride!)
4. sit with my family without "grampa" and with my brother
5. play at beach with mommy and daddy and my brother (we weren't in swimsuits; but, we did play at the beach!)
6. be with my family
I love my family and I can't wait for our next vacation!
We are grateful to our nephew for caring for my father in our stead. We are grateful to my sister and her fiancee for staying with our boys in Milwaukee while we attended a friend's wedding there at the end of our week. We are grateful for so many things.
Before we left, I gave my 5-year-old an assignment, "write 10 things you would like to do on vacation". I am still impressed with what he wrote. I am happy to report that we accomplished all six that we wrote (technically).
1. swim with daddy and mommy (my sister and her fiancee took him swimming)
2. play a lot outside with my family
3. i want to have adventures (yes, he spelled it right...now, ask me about our bicycle ride!)
4. sit with my family without "grampa" and with my brother
5. play at beach with mommy and daddy and my brother (we weren't in swimsuits; but, we did play at the beach!)
6. be with my family
I love my family and I can't wait for our next vacation!
Gluten Free Update
Whew! I am back to baking most things instead of buying pre-packaged gluten-free waffles, bread and more. I missed it. I don't know what kept me away...maybe it seemed too probable that making my own bread could cost more than the $5/loaf for gluten-free bread (because of the high cost of the gluten-free ingredients)...but, I was wrong! Thankfully wrong!
I don't know why I did not think to reopen my "Healthy Bread in Five Minutes a Day" cookbook to check out the gluten-free section. But, I finally did. I can make 2-4 loaves of bread, pizza crust, crackers--even cinnamon rolls--from one batch of my gluten-free dough! It tastes good. It is healthy. I am grateful. But, I still need to try those cinnamon rolls!
And, the bigger news on this update is that my whole household is now eating primarily gluten-free and noticing (and enjoying!) the benefits of doing so! My husband told me when he has a sandwich now, he notices the dip in his energy, more like afternoon fatigue (even with whole grain bread!).
The next thing I am inspired to make (from a recipe I saw at, http://glutenfreegoddess.blogspot.com/2011/08/gluten-free-chocolate-chip-zucchini.html) is gluten-free zucchini brownies! I am grateful to have my baking "bug" back! Enjoy!
I don't know why I did not think to reopen my "Healthy Bread in Five Minutes a Day" cookbook to check out the gluten-free section. But, I finally did. I can make 2-4 loaves of bread, pizza crust, crackers--even cinnamon rolls--from one batch of my gluten-free dough! It tastes good. It is healthy. I am grateful. But, I still need to try those cinnamon rolls!
And, the bigger news on this update is that my whole household is now eating primarily gluten-free and noticing (and enjoying!) the benefits of doing so! My husband told me when he has a sandwich now, he notices the dip in his energy, more like afternoon fatigue (even with whole grain bread!).
The next thing I am inspired to make (from a recipe I saw at, http://glutenfreegoddess.blogspot.com/2011/08/gluten-free-chocolate-chip-zucchini.html) is gluten-free zucchini brownies! I am grateful to have my baking "bug" back! Enjoy!
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