I knew my family was "off". I knew we were readjusting to having a house of 4, instead of a house of 5 (or often more, with my father's other caregivers). I knew my 4 year old was acting out because he was readjusting.
I just could not put my finger on what we were experiencing. Until now. We were grieving.
My family went through a period of grief when we moved my dad out. That is why it did not feel like a relief. We were still heavy with grief. It was a change for the better; and, that is why we made it. But, we were grieving the loss of a family member (living in our home). It was a different kind of grief because, thankfully, my dad is still alive. But, it was still grief.
It honestly feels good to have recognized it. We have been feeling "lighter" in the last few weeks; and, that is when my husband and I started realizing what we went through.
Whew. Now, we are able to better feel the gratitude for not having to care for Dad around the clock. We are better able to be silly, to feel joy. It was really weighing on us (possibly for longer than I realize).
Today, I feel grateful, lighter and happier. I can see it in my husband and our children, too. Thank you, God.
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